*sigh*

So, this week has been tough with being sick the entire time and starting a new job and just dealing with the emotional side of the surgery. I have been reading a lot of people's posts on the forum about being depressed post-op in hospital and feeling more depressed as time goes on. Let's be honest... I'm already depressed (technically speaking) and while I don't expect it to immediately get better post-op, I know that in the long run, the entire process will improve my health which will, in turn, improve my mood.

A lot of people don't understand why I'm doing this. I have tried to explain it to them over and over and I can't say anymore than I have. I know that this is a "life-altering" surgery... Duh. That's why I'm doing it.

I don't want to be a woman who is afraid to have kids when she is over 30 because she is already high risk because she is obese. I want to have kids and live to see my grandkids and maybe even great-grandkids. I want to be able to climb several sets of stairs and not have to stop and take a breather or rest my knee. I want to look in the mirror and know that the person I see there is the same as the person I am inside. I want to go to the doctor and not have him send me for blood work because of some odd symptom that he can't diagnose. I want to swim 20+ lengths and not be completely worn out at the end. I want to ride my bike and not get exhausted halfway through. The only thing that is semi-superficial is I want to be able to go shopping and buy something that makes me look my age, not like I'm trying to dress like a woman in her 80's.

I wanted to say, for those of you who HAVE questions; I have been pretty open about what's going on, just freaking ASK ME!!!

For those of you who have been supportive, thank you. I cannot tell you often enough how much your support means to me.

I am looking forward to seeing those of you who want to come and visit.